I love the idea that each character/route tells a different story, it gives a different touch to other FVN in terms of story progression and it was that detail that I must say I liked, secondly although I am a big fan of cats I admit that something about Koslov made him my favorite and I'm dying to know how his story develops (also in the other characters, but he is the one who interested me the most). I quite enjoyed the content so far, keep it up and I look forward to the next update. Zeyran out.
The story so far is interesting and your idea of having multiple protagonist is definitely intriguing and I am excited for how you will execute this at a later date. It even had me jump out of my sit when a... certain choice was displayed in front of me (made me remind my time playing Doki-Doki Literature Club). Another time was with the references. I certainly did not expect those kinds of references to be laid out like that (made me almost choke on my drink when a certain reference to a certain horror VN was played). I have to be critical at some parts though.
First off, the fourth-wall breaks lathered at some parts of the narration. Though most of the time it's okay - especially in a comedic setting - other times, it's bad for the story considering, I'm guessing, this VN handles a more serious route than a comedic one. For me, it ruins my immersion of the game having Reynald addresses me so casually as if he knows I am actually there with him, playing as him. Scares me even. I am not sure if this is some kind of quirky characteristic he only has and if so, I don't mind it, but if not, then I recommend removing it and having do so in a... narrative way? Just in any way that is not fourth-wall breaking
Lastly, show, don't tell. Having the narrator outright tell me directly what their background was, who a certain character is to them, and etc., it's weird. This also ties with my first critique. It's just weird for the narrator to just directly tell certain information as if there was someone listening inside their mind that needs to know this certain information. I mean, granted, that is true, I most definitely want to know more about them and their relationships with the other characters but I most prefer it done in a way without outright telling me what it is. For example, if you want a character to show that he's brothers with a certain character, instead of directly telling us that they're brothers, do it in a way that expresses and shows that they're like brothers. Like, let them address each other like brothers or have them do brotherly things. Hint them as brothers instead of outright telling us so. Show, don't tell.
Other than that, I am interested to know more of the story and the route you'll take for this VN. I'll be tuning in and waiting for anymore developments and updates from you!
Thank you so much for the kind words and glad you like it~ ^ ^
For fourth-wall breaking, I don't remember exactly how I got and started to use it. I think it's a kind of cultural thing from the platform I came from or I watched too many cartoons and/or anime. You're right that this VN will handle more serious issues. That's indeed something to fix to give you, the reader, a better immersion and impression of not just Reynald but the others as well.
Secondly, this is the first time I write in a visual novel media, because I used to write in the basic novel format, I'm still trying to adjust. The thing I intended to do is to give weight to the writing but still show the stuff rather than tell just like you said. I'm trying to remove that feeling of uneasiness when I see a paragraph or the script is too short (less than 3 or 4 sentences per paragraph).
About Rey and Kos, I was just a bit worried it might be easily misunderstood since it's not like your typical sibling relationship...
All in all, thanks a whole lot for the compliments and critiques! These are things that I will certainly look further into and improve them better!
No pressure! Just do things in your own pace. You'll get a hang of it and considering it is your first time writing a VN, you're doing already great from what I can tell! With just a few refinements, you're VN will be good! Good luck with your VN and, most importantly, have fun! I cannot wait for more
First the updating will it be random or will there be determine date.
Second Below there is comment that I don't know if I understand correctly, does it mean that protagonist's will have romance/romantic interest with someone that will be introduced later, or betwean the protagonist's? I know that you write that this is not dating sim but I don't understand hat did you mean by that and please don't take this as criticism.
Thank you a whole lot for the kind words and glad you like it~ ^ ^
To answer your question, the initial update plan is once every 4 to 6 months (the quicker the better, of course). Considering my schedule and availability, that's the answer I can give for now.
For the second, the former is the answer. Once route selection is available, you can choose between five of them to follow. For example, if you choose Dimitri, then you won't be in Reynald's view anymore. The protagonist is not Reynald anymore but Dimitri. And in his route (Irene or Marcus) there will be someone introduced as his love interest.
I hope that answer your questions and happy new year~
My God, this VN is perfect, I am extremely in love with Reynald, zero defect. I just have a few questions
Spoiler Alert
1 - Is Reynald a secret agent or something? Does Sergei know about this?
2 - I saw in another comment that you said that there will be romance routes for Irene, Dimitri and Marcus, will it be between them or just with Reynald?
3 - I can't deny that Sergei caught my attention if you know what I mean... about the possibility of having a route, is there going to be a scene with him in uniform?...
Well I have more doubts but as I love a good mystery, I will just wait for more updates.
There is a problem with your Twitter link, it is not opening your profile page.
Thank you so much for the kind words and glad you like it~ ^ ^
This might hurt us both, but I think I should tell you that Reynald is a human : I mean I'm happy you like him, yet I'd hate to disappoint :')
To your questions:
1. Secret's for now~ and Koslov does know about him being a soldier ( a sergeant even)
2. It will be on them separately. For example, if you choose Dimitri, then you won't be in Reynald's view anymore. The protagonist is not Reynald anymore but Dimitri. And in his route (Irene or Marcus) there will be someone introduced as his love interest (I copied this but what the heck XD). It will not be between them, except Irene perhaps as she's Reynald's girlfriend.
3. Koslov in a uniform? That's for you to find out :3
Well, I hope that answer you questions~ happy new year too~
As you may already know, Koslov has a little "problem" with romance, but I'll see what I can think of for him! We, especially he, still have a long way to go~
Once his route (chapter 1 part 1) becomes available, we'll discover new things from his view!
Reynald, Koslov, Irene, Dimitri, and Marcus are all the protagonist of their own story. As I said, Irene, Dimitri, and Marcus will have romance/a love interest while Koslov has that possibility.
I humbly apologize for not stating it in the page (I'll fix it soon), yet I need to remind that this isn't a dating sim :'
Just saw this now and I am already intrigued by this VN! The fact that you are planning to do 5 different main protagonist sounds like a stretch, but it's exhilarating! I really enjoyed the writing, and the use of the visuals were very nice. I'm so excited to learn more about the 5 individuals, I wish you the best of luck!
Don't want to sound critical, but - I hope it's not too late to change the name of "Koslov Tchaikovsky". You see, Koslov and Tchaikovsky are both slavic male second names. And everybody deserves to have a proper first name :)
Alright, if you've somehow read my previous reply, I apologize and screw what I said earlier. You're right, if I want to create a likeable character, I better give them what's better and best for them. Names are important indeed, and you opened my eyes.
Thank you for the suggestion. I'm sorry for my indecisiveness and pessimism before, now I've decided to give Koslov a proper first name (after a little searching and mental confidence boost): Sergei.
But, his first name will be used in his route since it has a really strong tie to his story and lore.
Thanks! November is a busy month for me and it's a luck I can publish this 😅 I'll try to work a little for the Android build, but I think it'll be still on December (or January at most)
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*messes around*
Congrats on the new build release :)
This project is shaping up to be a good read
Yeay~ thanks for the kind words~
I'll keep it up ^ ^
I love the idea that each character/route tells a different story, it gives a different touch to other FVN in terms of story progression and it was that detail that I must say I liked, secondly although I am a big fan of cats I admit that something about Koslov made him my favorite and I'm dying to know how his story develops (also in the other characters, but he is the one who interested me the most). I quite enjoyed the content so far, keep it up and I look forward to the next update. Zeyran out.
Thanks a lot and glad you like it, especially Koslov~ ^ ^
Remember, there's a lot of the unknown we have yet to discover, so stay tune!
I love how you added a "Remember The Flower" reference. Very creative to add that. Keep up the good work.
Thanks a lot~ ^ ^
Remember the Flowers is one of my favorite VN too~!
The story so far is interesting and your idea of having multiple protagonist is definitely intriguing and I am excited for how you will execute this at a later date. It even had me jump out of my sit when a... certain choice was displayed in front of me (made me remind my time playing Doki-Doki Literature Club). Another time was with the references. I certainly did not expect those kinds of references to be laid out like that (made me almost choke on my drink when a certain reference to a certain horror VN was played). I have to be critical at some parts though.
First off, the fourth-wall breaks lathered at some parts of the narration. Though most of the time it's okay - especially in a comedic setting - other times, it's bad for the story considering, I'm guessing, this VN handles a more serious route than a comedic one. For me, it ruins my immersion of the game having Reynald addresses me so casually as if he knows I am actually there with him, playing as him. Scares me even. I am not sure if this is some kind of quirky characteristic he only has and if so, I don't mind it, but if not, then I recommend removing it and having do so in a... narrative way? Just in any way that is not fourth-wall breaking
Lastly, show, don't tell. Having the narrator outright tell me directly what their background was, who a certain character is to them, and etc., it's weird. This also ties with my first critique. It's just weird for the narrator to just directly tell certain information as if there was someone listening inside their mind that needs to know this certain information. I mean, granted, that is true, I most definitely want to know more about them and their relationships with the other characters but I most prefer it done in a way without outright telling me what it is. For example, if you want a character to show that he's brothers with a certain character, instead of directly telling us that they're brothers, do it in a way that expresses and shows that they're like brothers. Like, let them address each other like brothers or have them do brotherly things. Hint them as brothers instead of outright telling us so. Show, don't tell.
Other than that, I am interested to know more of the story and the route you'll take for this VN. I'll be tuning in and waiting for anymore developments and updates from you!
Thank you so much for the kind words and glad you like it~ ^ ^
For fourth-wall breaking, I don't remember exactly how I got and started to use it. I think it's a kind of cultural thing from the platform I came from or I watched too many cartoons and/or anime. You're right that this VN will handle more serious issues. That's indeed something to fix to give you, the reader, a better immersion and impression of not just Reynald but the others as well.
Secondly, this is the first time I write in a visual novel media, because I used to write in the basic novel format, I'm still trying to adjust. The thing I intended to do is to give weight to the writing but still show the stuff rather than tell just like you said. I'm trying to remove that feeling of uneasiness when I see a paragraph or the script is too short (less than 3 or 4 sentences per paragraph).
About Rey and Kos, I was just a bit worried it might be easily misunderstood since it's not like your typical sibling relationship...
All in all, thanks a whole lot for the compliments and critiques! These are things that I will certainly look further into and improve them better!
No pressure! Just do things in your own pace. You'll get a hang of it and considering it is your first time writing a VN, you're doing already great from what I can tell! With just a few refinements, you're VN will be good! Good luck with your VN and, most importantly, have fun! I cannot wait for more
Thanks again! I will try my absolute best ^ ^
Awesome story and art. But I have 2 questions.
First the updating will it be random or will there be determine date.
Second Below there is comment that I don't know if I understand correctly, does it mean that protagonist's will have romance/romantic interest with someone that will be introduced later, or betwean the protagonist's? I know that you write that this is not dating sim but I don't understand hat did you mean by that and please don't take this as criticism.
sorry if there is many mistakes in my comment
Have A happy day/night and happy New Year.
Thank you a whole lot for the kind words and glad you like it~ ^ ^
To answer your question, the initial update plan is once every 4 to 6 months (the quicker the better, of course). Considering my schedule and availability, that's the answer I can give for now.
For the second, the former is the answer. Once route selection is available, you can choose between five of them to follow. For example, if you choose Dimitri, then you won't be in Reynald's view anymore. The protagonist is not Reynald anymore but Dimitri. And in his route (Irene or Marcus) there will be someone introduced as his love interest.
I hope that answer your questions and happy new year~
yes, thank you can't wait what the story will suprise us with.
My God, this VN is perfect, I am extremely in love with Reynald, zero defect. I just have a few questions
Spoiler Alert
1 - Is Reynald a secret agent or something? Does Sergei know about this?
2 - I saw in another comment that you said that there will be romance routes for Irene, Dimitri and Marcus, will it be between them or just with Reynald?
3 - I can't deny that Sergei caught my attention if you know what I mean... about the possibility of having a route, is there going to be a scene with him in uniform?...
Well I have more doubts but as I love a good mystery, I will just wait for more updates.
There is a problem with your Twitter link, it is not opening your profile page.
For more Reynald in the world!
Thank you so much for the kind words and glad you like it~ ^ ^
This might hurt us both, but I think I should tell you that Reynald is a human : I mean I'm happy you like him, yet I'd hate to disappoint :')
To your questions:
1. Secret's for now~ and Koslov does know about him being a soldier ( a sergeant even)
2. It will be on them separately. For example, if you choose Dimitri, then you won't be in Reynald's view anymore. The protagonist is not Reynald anymore but Dimitri. And in his route (Irene or Marcus) there will be someone introduced as his love interest (I copied this but what the heck XD). It will not be between them, except Irene perhaps as she's Reynald's girlfriend.
3. Koslov in a uniform? That's for you to find out :3
Well, I hope that answer you questions~ happy new year too~
thank you so much for answering my questions, happy new year to you too! ;D
You're welcome~
And I've fixed the Twitter link
So far, Irene, Dimitri, Marcus are the routes I planned to have romance/romantic interest, with Marcus being the most to have the aspect involved :)
Aww thanks ^ ^ glad you like him~
As you may already know, Koslov has a little "problem" with romance, but I'll see what I can think of for him! We, especially he, still have a long way to go~
Once his route (chapter 1 part 1) becomes available, we'll discover new things from his view!
I think there's a bit of misunderstanding :')
Reynald, Koslov, Irene, Dimitri, and Marcus are all the protagonist of their own story. As I said, Irene, Dimitri, and Marcus will have romance/a love interest while Koslov has that possibility.
I humbly apologize for not stating it in the page (I'll fix it soon), yet I need to remind that this isn't a dating sim :'
Just saw this now and I am already intrigued by this VN! The fact that you are planning to do 5 different main protagonist sounds like a stretch, but it's exhilarating! I really enjoyed the writing, and the use of the visuals were very nice. I'm so excited to learn more about the 5 individuals, I wish you the best of luck!
Thank you so much for the kind and motivating words! I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'll certainly do my best! ^ ^
Don't want to sound critical, but - I hope it's not too late to change the name of "Koslov Tchaikovsky". You see, Koslov and Tchaikovsky are both slavic male second names. And everybody deserves to have a proper first name :)
No worries~ Thanks for the info!
Alright, if you've somehow read my previous reply, I apologize and screw what I said earlier. You're right, if I want to create a likeable character, I better give them what's better and best for them. Names are important indeed, and you opened my eyes.
Thank you for the suggestion. I'm sorry for my indecisiveness and pessimism before, now I've decided to give Koslov a proper first name (after a little searching and mental confidence boost): Sergei.
But, his first name will be used in his route since it has a really strong tie to his story and lore.
I hope you understand, cheers!
I’m looking forward to it (I am using an Android device) 🧐👌🏽
Soon excited about this visual novel 😌🏃🏽♂️🏃🏽♂️💙
Thanks! November is a busy month for me and it's a luck I can publish this 😅 I'll try to work a little for the Android build, but I think it'll be still on December (or January at most)
Do it whenever you want
There is no pressure..
I want to play this in Android Great VN
Hi there and thanks! I plan to work on the Android build around December or January, so stay tuned!